Care work is bound to hit someone at any point in their life, especially when they have elderly relatives. Many families, like mine could not afford nursing homes, or in home nurses and assistants and many simply do not want to send their grandparents, mothers, fathers, or spouses away. Living in a three story house was one heck of a workout during 2006 for me, my grandmother who was around 83 lived in the finished basement and I was upstairs. Many time I would hear her call or just hear a loud noise and rush from the upstairs to see what she needed or what happened. My parents also took care of her obviously, we took shifts. My mother who worked during the day would take care of her in the evenings and at night, while I took the smaller shifts during the afternoon after school so Mom could have some private time. Dad took the day shift since he worked night shifts at the hospital. We had our own chores around the house and involving my grandma (who cooked a lot given her health issues) we made it work but it was a stressful and hectic time for all of us. Many families do not have the luxury of the situation we did with different work shifts and willing children plus my parents both worked in the medical field which helped tremendously. My personal experience wasn’t a bad one actually it was good in the fact that my grandma and I bonded. While I did laundry she would talk to me, and I would help her cook or we would watch Murder She Wrote (sounds lame but it’s a great show). My parents have often said that year has been the most organized and efficient year of their lives and while we all know that most of these situations don’t work well or they are stressful (trust me it wasn’t a cake walk all the time) we feel grateful that ours worked out well.
Society will not change, but individual families do need to make the necessary changes for women in the workplace and at home. By having businesses be more flexible with schedules and having different methods of managing and working they have cut back a lot of stress and have increased production in the United Kingdom. Women’s work has been limited to homes but some of the most stressful and necessary jobs are technically ‘women’s jobs’ like nursing, and teaching plus being someone’s secretary stinks (I did it for 4 years). It is strange how these jobs which are important and crucial to our society are labeled a woman’s job but women aren’t necessarily welcomed in the working world outside these few professions. Personal situations within the family is where change can really make a difference, by allocating different chores to husbands and even children women can make a bigger impact on the workforce while possibly increasing their wages and breaking through more glass ceilings. Society is not going to be making changes any time soon the majority likes the way things are (Silly men) for the most part so it is our jobs as wives, girlfriends, mothers, fathers, boyfriends, husbands, daughters and sons to make sure we take on responsibilities so mom and dad can help pay the bills and have equal footing in the workplace and that for generations to come women will be able to expect more from their husbands/spouses.
Excellent example of a family redistributing the division of labor in order to do carework. In this society, fewer families are able or willing to make such changes. With the increasing competition children have in schools and getting scholarships to college, parent become reluctant in including them in the division of labor. Your example highlight the gain for you as a daughter and a granddaughter. We need more stories like this.
ReplyDeleteHowever, we also need more support for families engaged in carework. Having a wider range of flexible work arrangements, longer vacation, more flexibility in the use of sick days -- all can help families make ends meet.